Sample Wedding Ceremony
The celebration of the marriage of ___ and ___
among their family and friends
Prelude (instrumental or vocal, depending on who you know and what you want. Use your musical friends!)
Entrance of Minister, Groom, and Wedding Attendants There is a "traditional" order and sequence in which these participants enter, but this can be changed according to your circumstances and the message you wish to convey. Let's see what works best for your wedding.
Entrance of the Bride (usually escorted by her father -- but she can come in alone or with the groom or with both parents) (accompanied by a stately but happy musical selection. But please don't use "Here Comes the Bride" -- it's almost impossible to march to. How about Purcell's "Trumpet Voluntary"? or something you like that isn't even classical -- as long as you can march to it.)
Greetings by Minister More than just welcoming the guests, we like to use this moment to affirm the importance of their presence. After all, if it wasn't important to celebrate your marriage with those you love, you could have simply gotten married at the courthouse with a couple of witnesses. Your guests are here because you need their love and support. Let's tell them so.
(Scripture) Reading -- from 1st Corinthians 13 or the Book of Ruth or elsewhere. Or you can use a completely secular reading -- one couple recently used an excerpt from the children's book "The Velveteen Rabbit."
Declarations of Love by Bride and Groom (Just why do you want to get married? Or what else are the two of you willing to share of who you are and where you come from? These brief (30 to 60 seconds) declarations -- which the two of you may read or ask friends to read for you -- are your first opportunity to make all your guests feel warm and included.)
Words by Family and Friends (A way to give an active participatory role to those who can't all be bridesmaids or groomsmen.) Talk with five or six relatives or friends in the weeks before the wedding and ask them, "Would you be willing to say a few words as a part of the wedding ceremony?" Then the officiant can call on those who said yes one at a time. If you're willing, the officiant can open it up at the end by asking, "Would anyone else care to say a few words?" Once in a while someone will respond to this and say something that is absolutely wonderful.
Reading: Apache Blessing (or another reading that is special to you)
Wedding Message by Minister (5 minutes maximum)
Our wedding message -- call it a "sermon" if you want -- is totally practical, giving you a way of dealing with those difficult moments when you might even -- imagine this! -- wonder if you want to stay married. These doubts are normal, but you need a way to deal with them. And here it is.
Vows ("Do you take this man? ... this woman?" "I do ... I do.")
We provide you with several sets of vows, to use as-is, or to change to suit you, or to give you ideas for writing your own vows.
Commitment by Families and Friends At this point we step around the couple to address the guests and ask them a question that incorporates the reason for their presence. ("Do you affirm your continuing love and support to --- and --- in their life together?" And the guests respond: "We do!") Here's an opportunity for all your guests to put into words what they are showing by their attendance at your wedding.
Lighting of Unity Candle or Rose Ceremony
A Wedding Blessing
Exchange of Rings
Pronouncement of Marriage by Minister ("I now pronounce you ...")
Recessional (Probably instrumental--something joyous, something you like.)
Special ingredients: If either of you has children from a previous marriage, we need to acknowledge and include them, to whatever extent they might be comfortable with. And if a particular religious or cultural tradition is important to you or your families, we can include readings or other parts from that tradition. And we can have a brief memorial -- usually just a line or two -- to pay tribute to deceased parents or grandparents.
E-mail us now to make an appointment so we can talk about how we can work together with you to make your wedding the most memorable experience of your life -- and a highly memorable experience for your guests too.
How long should a wedding ceremony be?
A typical ceremony might be 20-30 minutes long. If it is less than 15 minutes, your guests may suffer whiplash -- "What?? It's over already? Is that all there is? We drove all this way just for this?"
If you follow our suggestions and invite family and friends to participate by doing readings and in other ways, a longer ceremony (30-40 minutes) will not seem long. (But the odds are that, even if you include all our suggestions, the ceremony still won't run past 30 minutes.)
If you have the minister do all the talking, even fifteen minutes might seem long. So:
Make your ceremony interesting! Involve family and friends in a variety of ways. Use them to let everyone know how important family and friends are, not just in this brief ceremony, but in your life together. Doing this will add minutes to your ceremony -- but it will seem shorter, and your guests will enjoy every moment.
What makes a ceremony too long?
1) Listening to one voice drone on and on: Having the officiant read everything. It's much better to have friends and family take turns doing readings and playing other parts in the ceremony, so your guests get to hear a variety of voices. Be kind to your guests!
2) Having readings that are too long. If any reading goes beyond one page, it's too long. Half a page is better. Either shorten or omit readings that are too long (even though -- we know! -- you like them).
