Think of the traditional weddings you have seen. How do the principals -- bride, groom, minister -- stand? The minister stands facing the guests. The bride and groom stand facing the minister. What do you (as a guest) see? A very small circle -- and the backs of the bride and groom.
After all, the traditional ceremony in fact is a contract between the bridal couple and the church. They are the participants in the ceremony and in the symbolic circle.
But where are the guests? Family and friends are outside the circle, and the very layout of this tight little circle tells them that they are outside, they are spectators, observers, witnesses -- not participants.
We don't think this is the message that couples we marry want to convey. Quite the contrary. The message for a day like this, in the company of those you love and care about (why else would you invite them?) and who love and care about the two of you (why else would they come?) is rather, "We are marrying within the circle of those we love, those who are a part of our lives, those who will be a part of the circle of our life together for the years to come."
It is important to convey this message not only through the words that are said (and in our ceremonies, we make this point repeatedly through the words that are said), but also through such a simple thing as how the bridal couple stand. We like to have them stand flanking the minister, one on each side, forming (with the minister) roughly a semi-circle. This semi-circle says, "We form half a circle; you, our families and friends, make up the rest of the circle. You are not outside our circle, but are an essential part of the circle."
