We work with you to be sure that every aspect of the ceremony setting contributes to the message you (and we, on your behalf)  are trying to communicate.  (We do not just come in and read the words out of a book.) We urge you to break down the artificial barrier between participants and guests -- the custom that says that all guests -- none of whom, traditionally, are participants -- are seated before the entrance of the bridal party -- who usually are also silent participants. We are concerned about the message conveyed by each aspect of the setting:
  •   The arrangement of the seats:  To the extent possible, 1) seating should be brought in as far forward as possible, so that no one is sitting too far back (in row 12 or 14) to see and hear well, and 2) rows should be at least slightly curved, suggesting a part of a circle. Closeness suggests intimacy and inclusiveness; physical distance suggests emotional distance and separation -- a gap or barrier between the wedding party and the guests.  Straight rows of chairs suggest formality and coldness; curved rows suggest relaxation, warmth, and connection. 
  • The order in which the bridal party and family members enter:  Traditional weddings had (and have) a fairly rigid protocol and formality.  Some aspects of this may work for you, but any parts that do not contribute to the message you want to convey can be -- and should be -- changed.  The first rule was/is that everyone enters in reverse order of importance: First, run-of-the-mill guests; then family members, then the most honored guests -- the mother of the groom and, last, the mother of the bride.  Then the bridal party: the groom leading his attendants (groomsmen), then the bridesmaids preparing the way for the bride, and finally the bride escorted by her father.                                                               Several points here: there is a rigid separation between guests and bridal party, and the mothers, though honored, are considered only guests.  Is this what you want to say to your guests? Particularly if the mothers are going to play a role in the ceremony -- lighting candles or presenting roses for the rose ceremony, etc. -- it may be appropriate to escort them in after the  start of the ceremony, meaning after the officiant has entered rather than right before.   And how about the parents of the groom?  They are basically not acknowledged (unless the groom's mother is going to light a candle or present a rose).  But -- borrowing a wonderful idea from Jewish weddings -- the bride and groom can both be escorted in by both parents: a touching expression of the affection between parents and their offspring. 
  • We could talk similarly about the importance of the placement of tables, flowers, etc., the places where readers and other participants stand, and other details of arrangement.  All contribute to the message of inclusiveness and connectedness you are trying to express.
3)  Let's make the entire setting contribute to the message
Your Unforgettable Wedding Ceremony
           How Chris and Kay can help make your wedding ceremony special