Does one of you already have children? Children can feel left out of a wedding, but if they will be a part of your family in the years to come, it is vitally important to include them in this ceremony. Just how big a role they play in the ceremony will depend on their ages, how shy or outgoing they are, and your preferences as well. We can offer -- and create -- several options and a variety of wordings to get you started in building a role for the children into the ceremony.
For very young children, this might be more an expression of the parents' commitment to being good parents. The children may not be actively involved, especially if they are too young to understand what this is all about.
For slightly older children, we might -- with your input -- provide a sort of "Children's Sermon," in which we talk with them about the fact that in some way the relationship is changing but that they have been and remain an important part of this family -- and that it will be important for them to try to make this a happy and loving family. Such a "sermon" might conclude with a question to the children: "Will you do your best to be helpful and loving, even though there may be times when this is hard?"
Older children often get swept up in the excitement of the wedding, and may be eager to play an active role. You have to be the judge of how much participation is appropriate and wanted. By all means, involve older children in whatever ways, and to whatever extent, you and they feel comfortable with.
We are more than happy to suggest roles and activities and wordings, which you can -- and should -- edit and revise to be sure they work for your family.
We hope that when the wedding actually takes place, children -- and their role in the wedding -- will not be a "problem" or "issue," but a positive enhancement to the experience and meaning of the wedding day.
